Andre Johnson didn’t really want to be a Texan for a while and Ryan Fitzpatrick is Ryan Fitzpatrick.

There were plenty of reasons to doubt the Houston offense entering this season. Arian Foster’s not getting any younger, Andre Johnson didn’t really want to be a Texan for a while and Ryan Fitzpatrick is Ryan Fitzpatrick. Too bad for us haters and doubters; the Texans are 2-1, and they scored the lowest Spike Factor of Week 2 against the Oakland Raiders, finishing with a failure rate of just 20.31 percent.

The Texans were gracious enough to pass off their low-spike status to the New York Giants, their opponent in Week 3. Eli Manning’s crew gained yardage on all but 18.84 percent of the plays they ran, the best Spike Factor of last week and the lowest for this season so far. You get TWO scoops of rainbow sherbet after dinner, Eli.

Detroit, Minnesota and Carolina all stumbled to a Spike Factor north of 41 percent in Week 2, but because the Panthers were playing the Lions, by rule, both teams could not lose. Tampa and Denver joined them in that unpleasantly lofty territory in Week 3. These were not offensive performances to be proud of. And yet they don’t even come close to the saddest Spike Factor of the whole damn year.

First, let’s get last week’s highest Spike Factor out of the way: Miami, you had the worst performance in the league, failing to advance the line of scrimmage on 46.27 percent of the plays you ran. Disappointment, disgust, et cetera. The real action was in Week 2. Ready?

New England Patriots vs. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (+3): I was actually tempted by the Chiefs at home, where Arrowhead Stadium can provide a strong home field advantage. The Patriots are not as good as they have been in the past, but I am still willing to take their history against the Chiefs. New England is 4-1 ATS in its last five games at Arrowhead Stadium, and 7-3 ATS in its last ten overall games against the Chiefs.4